ZIMBABWE: Finding Strength After Cyber Abuse

After enduring cyber abuse, DeeRuvae reclaimed her power and now shares guidance on how to navigate online violence.

I was traumatized, unable to pick up my phone and log into my social media platforms.

This year I learned the hard way that our digital world can lack humanity.  A couple of months ago I experienced one of the most traumatic events of my life: cyber abuse.

Someone created fake social media accounts in my name using my photo and identity and posted threatening messages that appeared to be from me. Because I’m socially active, it was easy for the impersonator to convince others the posts were mine.

I was traumatized, unable to pick up my phone and log into my social media platforms. It took a long time to recover from the shame and self-doubt this caused. I found myself questioning whether being social was a crime. The cyberbullying infiltrated every part of my life. It still lingers in my mind, and I’ve only recently found closure. 

I do not wish that kind of pain on anyone. If you have experienced any type of online abuse, it is important to get support, take care of yourself, and focus on the positive aspects of your life.

Cyberbullying can lead to trauma and mental health issues such as body image problems, anxiety, and depression. Feeling anxious or depressed due to online abuse is a normal response to trauma. Remember you are not alone. Allow time to heal. 

A turning point for me came when a friend recommended I learn meditation. Guided meditations and taking deep breaths helped me manage my negative thoughts. Over time, I retrained my brain to observe my emotions, name them and let them pass.

Many people who suffer from online abuse feel they are to blame. But no one deserves abuse. A friend encouraged me to share my experience with my friends and family. I got so much support from them. I was scared that they wouldn’t understand or would judge me for what happened, but they were amazing. 

If you are going through cyber abuse, as hard as it may be, try not to engage. They say take down all your social media posts and delete your accounts but it doesn't make the bullying go away. Don't give the bully power over your life.

Instead, block offensive people. If they are making physical threats, screen shot those comments and report it to law enforcement and the social media platform. Report cyberbullies to your internet service provider (ISP), mobile phone provider (if bullying is via texts or calls), or social media site/app. As it all unfolds, never lose yourself to a cyber bully. Fight for your peace and sanity.

Social media has become laden with people sharing false narratives from behind their keyboards. I hope we can create a kinder world where online spaces foster understanding, not harm. We must treat others as we wish to be treated. Cyber abuse can feel overwhelming, but you are stronger than it. 

STORY AWARDS

This story was published as part of World Pulse's Story Awards program. We believe every woman has a story to share, and that the world will be a better place when women are heard.